I was hesitant as we started our first adoption process (the process that eventually led to our 10 year old being in our family) There are the normal questions like "how are we going to pay for this?" and "is this what is best for our family?" All I had, then, were questions and fears. The beautiful future we have had with our oldest was just that- in the future. Unknown. Scary.
When did my reluctance really come from, though?
There was something I deeply believed that I wouldn't admit to myself (or anyone else) because I was afraid to admit it. Are you ready to hear this? I'm not sure I am ready to type it even now, but here it goes: I deeply believed that adoption was a consolation prize...that God was holding back "better" and giving us "good." That was really why I was hesitant.
It seems strange and foolish to me now to consider that I thought that, but I did. And, frankly, I think most people do. The following phrases are hints as to why I think most people think of adoption as something less than the "normal" way to start a family.
"Is she your real daughter?" (The answer is: YES!!!! See the exclamation points?)
"Was she given up by her real parents?" (So much to say here, but our daughters were always wanted, never given up)
"Do you miss having children of your own?" (I know what someone means when they say this but these girls are as much our children as any child could possibly be! They are children of our own.)
"So how did start to see things differently?" you might ask. The honest answer: the passage we will talk about Sunday evening. Those of us who have trusted Jesus have been "adopted as sons" into the family of the Father. When the Spirit chose to use a metaphor on how we come into a new family, he inspired Paul to use adoption to describe what the Father did to (wholeheartedly) bring us home.
That changed me. I was adopted. Everyone who is in the family of the Father was adopted. (Notice my language here...the verb tense is important) We could not possibly be more children of God our Father. There is nothing more. Fully family. Finally, his own.
When I look at my precious girls there is no doubt in my mind I wouldn't love them more if they came in our family by another way. Not possible. And my love for them is a poor reflection of the love from a perfect Father.