Jesus Shows Up

A Guest Post from Our Friend, Danette Thrush:

I do not like the cycling and spiraling adrenaline rush and crash of shock, trauma and grief.

Peter is experiencing all these when he goes fishing in John 21. Total trauma. From others. From himself.

Peter's buddies, experiencing the same, tag along.

Muscle memory takes care of the fishing tasks, but can't shut off Peter's mind. He's hyper-processing an arrest he couldn't prevent, accusations he vehemently denied, crucifixion horrors he witnessed with all five senses, the debilitating grief of separation from Jesus for a dark-dead weekend, then the shock of seeing him alive again, but not knowing where he went, what this means, what to do, or where to go. 

Peter hits the open water with his fishing gear and a tormented mind that keeps reliving the events of the past two weeks, traumatizing him again. All night long.

"Early in the morning (after their fruitless night of fishing,) Jesus stood on the shore, but the disciples did not realize that it was Jesus." John 21:4

Jesus shows up.

"He called out to them, 'Friends, haven't you any fish?'" John 21:5

"'No,' they answered."

Jesus invites conversation with his question, one that has the disciples openly admitting the fruitlessness of all their efforts.

"He said, 'Throw your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some.'" John 21:6

When they did, they were unable to haul the net in because of the large number of fish.

Then the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, 'It is the Lord!'"

Jesus blesses in a way that reveals to Peter and the others who He really is.

"As soon as Simon Peter heard him say, 'It is the Lord,' he... jumped into the water." John 21:7

Jesus means more to Peter than the haul in his nets.

"When they landed, they saw a fire of burning coals there with fish on it, and some bread. Jesus said to them, 'Bring some of the fish you have just caught... Come and have breakfast.'" John 21:9,12

The whole encounter is an invitation drawing them near to be with Him again, to talk with Him again, and to follow Him still.

Jesus, you show up in our trauma places, inviting conversation with your questions to our souls.

You bless again, after long seasons of our own fruitless effort, revealing to us who you really are.

You turn all of it into holy invitations to whole new encounters with you, drawing us near.

You mean more to us than the blessings you give, and you let us realize this right in the middle of the net-full-of-splashy-fish moments as they unfold.

You gift us places to let go, jump in, choose you, and express how much you mean to us, so that we will know it too.

You invite us to follow you. Again. Still. Always. Forever.

Oh, Jesus. We do.

A Common and Compelling Purpose

A good fantasy story often captures something about life that we would miss unless we entered into another world.

I used to think fantasy stories were strange. Honestly, I still do…and there is good reason to think that. Orcs, wizards, and animals that talk are otherworldy to us. When we dive in and immerse ourselves in the strange, new world of a good story we forget our own world for a few minutes…and it frees us up to see our world in a way we often miss. Good stories will do that for us.

One of my favorite parts of the Lord of the Rings books is how the characters become friends, a “fellowship.” Different people from a variety of backgrounds are forced together because they have a common foe and a compelling mission. Yes, I admit it is strange to read about Elves and Hobbits and Dwarves coming together to fight a battle, but what isn’t strange is the truth that is describes.

Here is the truth: real friendship, real fellowship do not come through merely spending some time together (as good as that is!). Real friendship and deep fellowship come through sharing a common and compelling mission. Getting in the trenches together. Fighting unwinnable battles. Facing insurmountable odds to bring about something compelling and good.

That is wired into us. That is how we are formed. That is how Jesus invites us into fellowship with himself and each other. Jesus wants to be near us so he invites us into his mission.

And, somewhere along that path, we find our closest friends have been with us the entire time.

But, ultimately, it is not enough just to find friends- even deep friends, heart friends, life long friends. As a friend reminded me yesterday, we long for friendship with the Ultimate Friend. We need heart connectedness with the God who made us and invites us into his friendship. And, like human fellowship, fellowship with God comes through time with him, walking with him, and sharing a common, compelling purpose. But, that, I’ll have to blog about more another day…

John 15:15: “I [Jesus] no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.”

Philippians 3:10: “I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death…”

Emotions

A Post by Darlene Wagler of Olive Tree Counseling in Seattle

What in the world do we do with our emotions? The messages I hear every day are conflicting.

“Do what is right for you”

“Don’t follow your emotions.”

“Follow your heart.”

“Your feelings can’t be trusted.”

“We just fell out of love.”

“Don’t let your emotions overcome you.”

While the message of the church not to follow our feelings might be a necessary response to the overemphasis of following our feelings in other spaces, I believe that neither message is necessarily correct nor incorrect. While I am no Hebrew or Greek scholar, a quick glance at Scripture doesn’t reveal that the concept of what to do with emotions or feelings is really addressed. The fact that we have emotions is assumed in Scripture, but we are not told whether or not to follow our emotions. I believe this is because emotions aren’t the central issue. Worship is. When Jesus says, “You can’t serve two masters, because you will love the one and hate the other,” we should not conclude that the solution is to try to love money less or try to hate God less. Our emotions are not the problem. The problem is what our emotions are motivated by.

So how should we think about emotions and what do we do with those emotions?

• Emotions can be a signpost pointing us to other things.

  If the fuel light goes on in your car and beeps periodically, I hope that you do not simply turn off the beeping and ignore the warning. I also hope that you do not come to a screeching stop in the middle of the interstate the minute the light goes on, despairing because your life is over. Like our fuel lights, emotions can point us to things we need to pay attention to in our lives. Envy can point to a place in our lives where we feel sadness and need care and attention. Anger can point to injustices in our lives or in the world. Joy, awe, praise, and love can point us to the love of Father dwelling in and through his creation. Rather than trying to silence our emotions or disregard them, we can listen to what they reveal about our hearts. If I decide to do what feels good for me in the moment such as having an affair, the issue is not so much seeking pleasure as it is self-worship.

• Emotions can fuel us to action.

  It might sound like I am saying to allow your emotions to lead you and maybe I am. In the life of Jesus, I see him moved with compassion, healing the sick. I see Jesus fueled by anger, turning over tables in the temple. I see Jesus moved by sadness, weeping with his friends over Lazarus’ death. I see Jesus, enduring the cross, by looking forward to the joy he would feel. We tend to think that our emotions get in the way of objective decision making, but in fact, this isn’t true. Emotions move us to action by helping us feel empathy, compassion, and connection with others. One of the things that can happen when we try to NOT follow our emotions is that we can get paralyzed by the fear of doing things for the wrong reasons. ie. “I would like to lead music in church, but if I want to do it, it must be wrong.” or “If I am angry, I shouldn’t confront that person’s behavior or let them know how it impacted me.” While there is probably wisdom in not bringing the full force of our anger to an encounter or not leading music for the sole reason of getting praise, not doing something just because we feel emotions about it can be unhelpful as well.

• Emotions are not just a human experience

  When I hear people talk about Jesus having emotions, sometimes it sounds like “Jesus experienced emotions so he would know what it was like to be human.” In fact, Scripture indicates that God has emotions. If God didn’t love us or only thought objectively about his Creation, he would have never sent Jesus to die for us. At different points in Scripture, God is said to feel anger, (Numbers 11:1) compassion, (Judges 2:18) jealousy, (Exodus 20:5) joy, (Jeremiah 32:41) love, (John 3:16) and more. The fact that God feels all these emotions also debunks the notion that there are good emotions and bad emotions. We don’t need to only try to feel joy or love; anger and jealousy can be holy emotions as well. What Scripture says about anger specifically is “Be angry and do not sin.” If we think of anger as inherently sinful, we have a hard time understanding this verse. If we understand how to approach our emotions, we can diagnose core issues more effectively rather than silencing the symptoms.

• Emotions transformed by the Holy Spirit are unexpected

  While it is evident that God has emotions, the emotions in Scripture defy earthly standards. For example, Jesus commands us to love our enemies. In Matthew 5: 46-47, 44, Jesus says “If you love only those who love you, why should you get a reward for that? Even the tax collectors do that. And if you are nice only to your friends, you are no better than anyone else. Even the people who don’t know God are nice to their friends. But I say to you Love your enemies and pray for those who treat you badly” (ERV). I can be at least a little nice to my enemies some of the time, but loving them is pretty impossible without divine intervention, especially when we consider that love is not just excusing or explaining away their bad behavior. Another mind-bending concept in Scripture is finding joy in suffering. James 1:2-3 says “Consider it a great joy, my brothers, whenever you experience various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance” (HCSB). Or in 1 Peter 4:13 it says “But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed” (NIV). I believe that these unexpected emotions are possible first of all, because of the power of the Holy Spirit, (Romans 15:13) but also because we worship Someone bigger than ourselves. We can offer love because we have been radically loved. We can feel joy because we know that there is more to the story than what we feel in the present moment.

In conclusion, how we handle our emotions isn’t so much a matter of trying to silence them or follow them, but understanding them as messages, motivators, and mirrors of God’s image. Our emotions can get tangled up with false gods, glorified as gods, or used to worship and glorify God. The core issue is not how we feel, but Who we worship.

Unmanageable Deep

Ezekiel 47:1-12, is a poetic and symbolic picture of what life with Jesus is intended to be. Ezekiel is taken by a river that flows from the temple of God and told to measure it. This river is a symbol of the Holy Spirit. Ezekiel examines what he sees, the river gets deeper and deeper. At first it is manageable, barely a trickle. As it flows on, it becomes so deep that it would sweep the prophet away if he gave himself over to it.

I’ve been swept away down and actual river like that. It is scary. Having something (or someone) take over control of your life is panic inducing. We get anxious and we then we fight. We try to “grasp for straws” as people drowning, desperate for a manageable life again.

We start a series Sunday reminding each other of our mission together as an expression of Jesus’ Church in our city.

You do not need me (or anyone) to try to put together a creative vision for our lives that you are encouraged to follow. You don’t need pithy thoughts or easy memorizable statements to guide your lives. You have everything you need in God’s word and his Spirit.

What we all need is a reminder. A reminder of who our God is and what matters most. It is easy to go to sleep, wake up, do real life, and- through it all- forget what matters to God.

My heart’s desire is that the Spirit would use his Word (and each other) to both encourage us to follow where his River will take us…and have the courage to live in the unmanageable deep.

We start with “expressing that Jesus is our treasure”- or saying it another way- worship.  We plan to walk through Romans 12 over the next few weeks, starting Sunday evening with verses 1 and 2.

Prepare by reading Romans 12. Prepare by willfully allowing the Spirit to have his unmanageable way in you.

Troublemaking

1 Kings 18:17–18: When Ahab saw Elijah, Ahab said to him, “Is it you, you troubler of Israel?” And he answered, “I have not troubled Israel, but you have, and your father’s house, because you have abandoned the commandments of the LORD and followed the Baals. (ESV)

It is as if I (Wes) have two competing desires wrestling around in me. The first desire is the desire to stay on the sidelines, not get in the fight. I want to keep the status quo and- to say it another way- “keep the peace.”

Then there is another desire that barks and fights against the first: the desire to be a troublemaker.

Because I am typically quiet and reserved, the “troublemaker” side of me surprises people. For some, they don’t believe that I can be a troublemaker. That’s probably better, I guess. If I came across as nothing but a troublemaker then that would communicate a message I don’t mean to share.

I read the passage quoted above earlier this week and stopped quickly at Ahab’s description of the man of God he was speaking to. Ahab saw Elijah as a troublemaker. Ahab perceived the prophet as a man whose actions were disrupting the peaceful status quo of Ahab’s reign. King Ahab and his determined Queen, Jezebel, were having their way with the people of Israel; the people willingly and eagerly followed their lead in turning their hearts from the Lord to loving the ways of the Baals.

Elijah was a bump in the road of the Crown’s search for political power. Elijah’s words calling people back to sincere devotion to the Lord was making trouble for the regents in ways no one else would. 

Elijah was a problem that needed to be solved; a man who would not submit to Ahab’s type of peace. In Ahab’s eyes, Elijah was a troublemaker of the worst kind. In God’s eyes, Elijah was creating a kind of trouble that pleased Him.

Peacemaking is, in a way, troublemaking. Yes, there are great dangers in being a “troublemaker” in this way, but, if you are like me, I am more in danger of dishonoring God by my inaction…out of fear working to keep the “peace” that keeps people comfortable in their devotion to anything but Jesus.

I want to be a troublemaker. I want to be a maverick. I want to be a disturber of the peace. But, the kind of peacemaking that disturbs the selfish status quo is not, destructive or selfish. It is, at its root, loving like Jesus is loving. Jesus was not (is not) afraid to disturb our selfish, painted on peace, in order that we might find real peace that comes from life with him.

I am not sure how to do that like Jesus does it, but I want to follow his lead in this. Will you come with me and learn from him? Let’s seek his heart and his ways together!

Patient Vision or Anxious Action?

"It will cost something to walk slow in the parade of ages, while excited men of time rush about confusing motion with progress. But it will pay in the long run, and the true Christian is not much interested in anything short of that." A.W. Tozer

Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices! (Psalm 37:7 ESV)

Sincerest Form of Flattery

Hebrews 13:7: Remember your leaders, those who spoke to you the word of God. Consider the outcome of their way of life, and imitate their faith. 

Can I tell you a secret? My college degree was in “Practical Theology.” Okay, that’s not a juicy secret. Its a boring one, honestly. I can hear what you are thinking because many have the same response: “How can theology be practical?!” At the time I started, I didn’t give much thought to the degree’s name. I just had to choose a course load I was interested in. So…”Practical Theology” it was.

In this case, what “Practical” meant was to train us in certain skills: leading a meeting, preaching, teaching, studying, creating mission statements. Stuff like that. I don’t remember a class on “talking to real humans” or “being there when people are hurting” or “how to be prioritize your family over work.”Those things see more practical to me. 

I bet you would agree.

There is another practical question that was left unconsidered: what makes a “spiritual leader”?  Notice that I am not merely talking about those people (like me) whose income comes from being an official leader. I am talking about those of us who God puts in position of some sort of influence with other people so that they might trust Jesus. That means every follower of Jesus, in varying ways. Does someone have to get a “Practical Theology” degree to be used by God to encourage, build up, and challenge other followers of Jesus?

I bet you know the answer to that question.

I live in a religious world in which we speak of trusting in God’s work through us, but tend to celebrate and rely on skills. The one with the greatest set of skills gets the most attention, the most accolades, the most respect. That is normalized and (almost) unquestioned. In this respect, the “world” I live in is not much different that how the other “worlds” function.

In reality, it is easy to believe that all we need is skill and then we can be an effective leader. That is the default mode in how think about most things. It is often the default mode in how we think about spiritual leadership.

“There is no need to rely on God’s Spirit. We have everything we need in our skills.”

Notice the difference between that thinking and the way of thinking that the author of Hebrews had. Where we seek out greater and sharper levels of skill, the Spirit inspired the writer to focus on faith.

Now, in light of the context of this part of Hebrews, “faith” is not equal to Christianity or a belief system or possibly willful, ignorant “trust” (read: “blind faith”). “Faith” is a substantive, intelligent, reasoned confidence in the God who is alive and at work…reliance on a Person who makes promises and gives us a heart to believe he will fulfill his promises.

The Spirit inspired these words to reshape our thinking on what matters to him. It is not mere “skill” that our God is interested in, but a man or woman who is growing deeper and deeper in a heart confidence in a Father who loves to give good things to his children. 

The main skill (will you allow me to put it that way?) that a spiritual leader needs is not something we can practice like public speaking or throwing a baseball, but an inward posture of child-like trust. People do not need our skills nearly as much as I believe they do. What they need is a model. They need someone who has surrendered to a loving Father and found him to be practically loving. 

The theology that is most practical is the theology- knowing God- that leads us to trust him despite difficult or disappointing circumstances. A knowing of a Person that affects us more deeply than the trouble that surrounds us. 

I am going to go as far to say that the leaders that the writer of Hebrews is talking about are not really Spiritual leaders unless they possess a growing confidence in the Father instead of a reliance on their own abilities.

We want people to imitate our simple confidence in a faithful God, in real life everyday stuff. We want them to believe Jesus’ words, the Father’s heart, and the power of the Spirit. Trusting in our abilities may be entertaining if we do it well, but that confidence will not be life-giving for them.

People need to trust in the One who can (and will!) come through for them. Our role is to model that type of life so that they will say to themselves “I want the authentic faith that I see in him!”

Be (breath) Still (breath) and Know (breath) I am God

Be still and know that I am God: A Post by Darlene Wagler

As I meditated on these words, I began by breathing in the word “God”, reflecting on who he is. Next, I added in the word “know” and took in the ways of knowing God. How does it change when we know God in our felt sense, in our bodies?

When we know God, not as an abstract idea, but whose very breath and life runs through our veins. When we know God like we know a comfortable and familiar grandfather who always took time for us and delighted in everything we did, just because we were his. Like new parents watching their newborn baby breathe, marking every breath with awe, God knows me.

But in the moment, I sensed that I was too full of distractions to know God like that. I was too full of clutter to listen. I couldn’t hear God because I was listening to too many other voices. And then came the words “Be still.”

The context of Psalm 46 describes a cacophony of destruction and chaos. Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall, the earth melts. Is this not our world today? Global wars, global warming, the destruction and polarization is not escaped by the smallest innocent child.

Being still in moments of chaos and pain is one of the hardest things to do. When we stop, we feel the depths of grief and helplessness. We hear the parts of ourselves that have been silenced and exiled. We hear our cries, our longings, our loss, our despair. The waves of pain and aloneness wash over us and we are swept under. In our silence and stillness, we are emptied of the things we use to keep our pain at bay. We are hallowed out in an excruciating process that opens us up to receive with humility what we do not know. As we are emptied, we come to know the truth about ourselves.

We are deeply loved, but we are not special; nor do we need to be. No amount of work or brilliance will elevate our status above others and no amount of embarrassing moments or deep shame will diminish our value and place of belonging.

We are loved because we are his and the best thing we can do is: Be still. And know. That he is God. 

A Confession and A Challenge (from our Celebration Gathering July 30)

Romans 15:18:

"For I will not venture to speak of anything except what Christ has accomplished through me to bring the Gentiles to obedience—by word and deed…”

The Confession: There is Pain in Living Life In Our City

One of the reasons I want mission teams to come is because I can see our city and our life through their eyes. I love taking them to Gas Works Park where they get to see the beauty of our city from far away. But, looking at the gleaming downtown towers and the idyllic lake, they only get hints of what it is really like to live here. But then I send them out walking the streets.

Then they see people living homeless. They smell dried urine on the sidewalk along with messy piles of trash. They notice used needles and hear the honking of impatient drivers. They start to notice that the friendliness that they first encountered wears off and people seem to become impatient and prideful.

I see city through their eyes…and it can be painful. 

There is pain in living here. Pain the teams won’t know because they only come for a week or so.

There’s a reason why people don’t want to move into the city. 

Many don’t feel safe. 

It is crowded. Loud.

Governmental corruption is hidden, but only thinly hidden.

It is expensive. More than I knew. We did much better financially in Texas than here.

Relationships are hard. Most people stay to themselves, keeping a polite distance. It takes extra work to start a relationship and, often,  those relationships tend to be unstable and fragile.

We are deeply grieved that people we dearly love leave because of the city. Though we understand, it still breaks my heart.

I get angry at people in our city. I resent that people will take advantage of the fact that I will defer to them and serve them. I am angry when I pick up trash at Summerfest and I look up and people talk to me as if I am the hired help.

The influence lostness has on my girls…and us…is painful. In one of his books, David Wells states that “Worldliness is whatever makes sin look normal and righteousness look strange.”

We live in a society that celebrates sin and thinks of God’s ways as strange.

This worldiness creates a society that people indulge in, but then want to leave. Sin is self destructive to people and to societies.

The darkness in the city and the darkness in people is darker than I thought it was.

And then there is the matter of whether or not God is at work. I often question whether he is or not. Some days it is clear that he is working and doing good. Some days that understanding seems foreign to me.

There are days I don’t want to be here. Don’t want to invest my life in others. I want to give up. There are days I want to give up everything almost everything in me says it’s not worth it.

The Challenge: Don’t Give Up on our City. Don’t Give up on the God of our City

My challenge is not for you to love Magnolia. Nor to love Seattle. Those are just names given to areas. The challenge is this: don’t give up on the people. Don’t give up on Jesus’ work and his heart for people.

I have long left behind a romantic view of living in the city. Reality is never as romantic as we think it will be.

Now my desire is merely to live a life in which I can look back on 30 years and recognize- wholeheartedly- that Jesus accomplished something through us. To look back and to have have the joy of knowing it wasn’t on my shoulders, not my work, and the joyful burden of people’s lives is his to carry.

You may agree with these words, but still object by saying, “I am not called to what you are Wes”. There is truth to that. What Jesus will accomplish through me will be different than what he will accomplish through you. 

That’s good!  Our callings are only different in who we are called to, who God has placed us among in our everyday lives.

We are called to the same thing: to live a life of love, just as Jesus lived a life of love.  (Ephesians 5:1-2) An “incarnate” life. Present. Available. Compassionately joyful, sacrificially serving, and long-suffering.

First Thessalonians 2:8 says “so we cared for you. Because we loved you so much, we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well.”

I had a very simplistic view of that, thinking that if I loved people in the way Jesus loves people then they would appreciate and honor that. Sometimes that is true, but the reality is that most are left unaffected, guarded, protective, self-absorbed, only looking for what they can gain from others. It makes me want to be protective and self-absorbed too and maybe just lob the gospel at people rather than sharing my life with them.

Sharing life with people can be disappointing. It will be disappointing, but a life lived pouring ourselves out for the good of others is more life and more life-giving than retreating into our self and staying safe. The call to love people like Jesus loves people is not just for their sake it is also for ours.

We are workers together with you for your joy, as Paul said in 1 Corinthians 1:24.

We have a decision in front of us.

It is the same decision for the people of Israel had when the spies came back with a fear laden report that the people in the land were too strong. The decision is real: will we trust what Jesus has said, even if, the circumstances are overwhelming or will we shrink back and miss out?

But here is why our decision is different than theirs. There’s was a one time decision. They made the decision not to go in the land…and they made it once. 

Ours is a daily decision. It is a daily decision, as to whether we will believe what God says or not. Will we believe his character, his power, his heart or will we lean on our own understanding and rely on the way we think about things?

Will we settle for a life that we can control and feel safe or will we follow Jesus to places that are wild and adventurous and out of our control?

Will we follow him to people who are broken and need more than we can give them? Will we follow Jesus to people who are wealthy, seem to have it together, who don’t think we have anything they need?  

Will we look at our own soul and recognize that- in someway- we were just like them before we were rescued by Jesus?

Our calling is not to build a city, but to help bring a kingdom. A kingdom defined by grace. The invitation from Jesus is not to go to the easy and deserving (they don’t exist!) but to love real people who don’t deserve God’s goodness or our love. That Spirit-given grace for others is what will transform our city and its people, from the inside out.

Will you commit to the people of our city since Jesus has committed to them… and only because Jesus has committed to them?

Will you commit to living a life that is out of your control…one that only Jesus can accomplish?

When we run out of patience,  and love, and desire, and hope then we will find that Jesus will accomplish his long-suffering, love, desire, and hopefulness through us. 

Like the Tide Coming In

Long Beach (near the Washington side of the Columbia River) is the longest beach in the world. I was today years old when I found that out. I have even been there and didn’t know just how hallowed the sand was that squished between our toes.

When our family went to play there a few years ago we found out two interesting facts:

1. it is forbidden for people to get in the water because of the rip tides. (What is a beach without being able to get in the water?!)

2. Two, contrary to what I expected, the water isn’t eroding the beach, but building it. The rip tides both threaten swimmer’s lives and create more beach for those swimmers to enjoy.

Slowly, but surely, the beach is encroaching on the water’s territory.

Jeff Christopherson said (my paraphrase) that the kingdom of God is the realm in which King Jesus gets his way. We can tell when Jesus’ kingdom comes when what he wants to happen in the lives of people happens.

When families are drawn back to each other through repentance and forgiveness.

When the “prodigal” comes to his senses, comes home, and enjoys the Father’s love more than the fleeting pleasure of sin.

When the weapons we use to force our will on others through war are reshaped into tools to create and sustain the fullness of life for people.

When the poor have both the resources and the desire to live in community with people rather than the margins.

Many days, I feel like that those days are not coming, but Jesus promises that they are.

His kingdom is not a kingdom of this world (not of the same nature of this world) and it is not as visible as the powers that oppress people and keep us tempted to love sin, but- and this is a huge deal- Jesus’ is bringing his kingdom everyday.

Like the rip tide building the beach, Jesus is creating a realm that wasn’t there before. Wave by wave he is creating a world in which we his heart and his ways are being lived out in real life. I long to be more and more a part of that world.

Let’s live that kind of life out, together.

The Kind of Fear We Long After

Haunted houses. Bungie jumping. Swimming with sharks. Slasher movies. We willingly do things that scare us.

Scary movies have never been my thing. Maybe it is because I am typically fearful by nature, but I just don’t want to spend a couple of hours watching a story that creates fear in me. Though I don’t go see them, not only do many people go see fear-inducing movies- by choice- but they get excited about them! That makes me curious: what does that say about us that we not only want to be scared, but we will even pay someone to scare us?!

I believe that everything we do whether good, bad, or indifferent tells us something about who we are…what we deeply long for. We may choose actions that are destructive to ourselves and others, but even the (twisted) action is a hint to something in our nature that God created for his glory and our good. We are always (at least unconsciously) longing after something beautiful in Jesus even if we seek something ugly from the world.

Maybe we seek to be jump-scared because our hearts secretly long to be full of fear- a Godly fear. Maybe the ways we scare each other are substitutes for something better.

When Jesus calmed the storm that was swamping his boat, his disciples got silent too. They had been in real danger. They had been swamped by real fear. Then they watched as the wind and the waves “bowed the knee” to Jesus of Nazareth, Mary and Joseph’s son. Then, as the scripture says, they were afraid. A deep, profound, life-changing fear. A fear that did not cause them to fight or fly, but to follow Jesus more closely. Awe overtook them. They were awakened to a man who was more fear inducing to them than the storm they just lived through.

Maybe we go see scary movies or jump out of planes or swim with Great Whites as a weak substitute for an encounter with One who would create real fear in us, make us feel smaller than we would choose to see ourselves, but also fill us with a deep sense that  the fear is profoundly good.

Join us Sunday evening as we explore Jesus’ authority over his creation…a creation that willingly obeys his commands. By God’s grace we will encounter the same kind of fear that the disciples experienced…and the same life-giving awe.

We are Disturbing

“Bring those I contact to decision. Let me not be a milepost on a single road; make me a fork, that men must turn one way or another on facing Christ in me.” Jim Elliot, from his journal.

Yep, I do write titles (like the one above) to grab your attention. Honestly, I am not trying to be cute or clever, but just to say something from scripture that we would normally ignore or yawn at. I think we should constantly look at what God has said to us from a different point of view.

We are disturbing. For real. Or at least we can be disturbing. This is what I mean:

No one who has ever encountered Jesus (or those in whom Jesus lives) has ever been the same after the encounter. Jesus is always a man who disturbs our “peace” to bring us to a decision. Always. The selfishly confident religious leaders of Jesus’ day were never left unmoved by Jesus’ words and presence. They either humbly saw Jesus as the Messiah that their heart’s longed for or the threat to their self-salvation project. Jesus was disturbing to them.

We are not much different than those first century religious gatekeepers. When we encounter the reality of who Jesus is, it is impossible to be left unmoved.

Many of the religious leaders were disturbed by Jesus and rage overtook their religious sensibilities. They became blinded by their desire to guard their self-made goodness…and sought to destroy the One who threatened them.

Others- usually the ones who were disturbed by their corrupt hearts- gladly welcomed Jesus’ disturbance. They saw his presence as a threat, for sure, but only a threat to what is killing them. Those people typically let Jesus’ disturb them with the audacity of his grace towards them.

The question is: which way will the thoughts of our hearts move us? Will we let Jesus disturb our sin and give in to his life-giving grace towards us?

Go I go a little further and ask this too: are we willing to be disturbing for other people’s good? I mean…if we already are disturbing like Jesus we might as well live it out!

Join us Sunday evening as we (together) live out Jesus’ “disturbing” resurrection life.

We Are All Skeptics

… and Easter is for skeptics.

We might have this subtle idea that people who lived in the 1st century AD were more gullible than we are. You know, they didn't have the science and stuff we do so they must have been ignorant or superstitious, right?

(Have you ever noticed that we tend to think the people who came before us weren’t quite as smart as us?)*

If someone you knew and trusted came to you and (excitedly) told you his loved one who died recently had been resurrected, at best you would be confused. Your friend is usually a trustworthy person, so the "crazy talk" like someone rising from the dead might be coming from excess grief or stress.

The surrealness of that conversation would have been the surrealness of the conversations Jesus’ disciples had about his resurrection! They were not all that much different than we are; they would have been just as surprised…and skeptical.

But, Resurrection Sunday is for skeptics like them, and skeptics like us. We might agree with the reality that Jesus was resurrected (and is alive now!), but do we rely on that fact? We are still skeptics in some ways, even if we believe.

What matters more than our feelings (or how much we agree that Jesus’ resurrection happened) is whether or not Jesus’ resurrection is true? Did Jesus rise from the dead?

If he didn’t. Move on from him. He is a dead teacher among a list of dead teachers. It would be foolish to base your life off of a dead man.

But if he did defeat death and is alive now, what difference does that make? I mean, what real, everyday, difference does His life make?

If he is alive, wouldn’t be foolish not to go all in with him?

Join us Sunday evening as we celebrate the reality that the Jesus in the pages of scripture is the Jesus who is (fully, irrevocably) alive today…and he makes all the difference for skeptics like us.

*C.S. Lewis called that "chronological snobbery” and we all have a touch of it, at least.

The Holy Thirst

Jesus didn’t often draw attention to himself on purpose…at least not for a meaningful reason. It must have been startling to his disciples- not to mention the crowd around him- when he stood up and cried out “If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believe in me, as the scripture has said ‘Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.’” (see John 7:37-39)

It would be startling because it seemed abrupt, even for a crowd that had come to a festival. It would also be startling because no one makes promises like Jesus did at that time- at least not a sane person.

But, Jesus said it. And he meant it. Though few would have understood it, his words were an invitation to something. Something that was not only soul-thirst satisfying, but also life giving to others. But, it wasn’t literal water…

John was in the crowd that day with Jesus. He may have understood what Jesus meant just a little bit more than anyone else, but it wasn’t that much. With years in between the day Jesus said it and the day he wrote down Jesus’ words, John writes these words, explaining what Jesus’ said: “Now this he said about the Spirit…”

The Spirit. The Holy Spirit. The Spirit of Christ. The “shy” person of the Trinity. Just as much God as the Father and the Son are God. The God we forget about. 

Jesus doesn’t say much more about God the Holy Spirit on this day, but what he says is world-changing: The Spirit quenches our holy thirst.

When a corrupt heart influences this thirst, we seek after anything but God’s Spirit. Possessions. Illicit sexual experiences. Pleasing people. We drink whatever we can that seems like it will quench our thirst, but ultimately- if it isn’t the “living water” Jesus promised- we just get thirsty again.

Our journey through Ephesians leads us to Paul’s commanding invitation to be filled with the Spirit in chapter 5. The Spirit seems mysterious, illusive, and maybe scary. But, God is inviting us to drink deeply of the One he gives us that will quench our souls’ deepest thirsts…and overflows to fill those around us too.

A Spotlight on our Desires

(A riff on C.S. Lewis’ parable in the book, The Four Loves:)

Imagine that you traveled to another country to spend a few days of much needed rest and relaxation. You had planned the trip for months, researching the “I HAVE to see that!” kind of places and making sure to take in all that you could of what is unique about the country.

Since you want to experience how the local people live, you decide one night to visit the most popular show in the country, Das Oodfa Ewa Orshipwa. You are amazed you got tickets because the show sells out every evening!

As you take your seat and the lights go down you notice that the theater is full. Not an empty seat in the building. There is a buzz of contagious excitement in the room that moves you and you notice everyone’s attention is focused on the stage in front of them with anxious expectation.

The lights dim. The curtains open at the front of the house. And, one bright light illuminates something in the center of the platform: a table with a covered dish on it.

When the well dressed man walks from behind the curtain towards the covered dish He slowly, patiently, takes the cover off of the dish, revealing a plate of pork chops, mashed potatoes, and green beans. You hear people gasp and then see them faint. Others (who are normally obnoxiously proper) try to run up to the stage before they are stopped by security. Many stare in stunned silence with a glistening of drool falling from their mouth, without shame.

You get up quietly, confused at the scene…but you are the only one who tries to leave. There is a sacred hush in the room as you make your way out.

You wonder to yourself as you walk out into the night air, “What’s wrong with these people?” And then, immediately think, “The way they think about food is all messed up.”

And, like Mr. Lewis finished his tale in the book: “And would not anyone who had grown up in a different world think there was something equally queer about the state of the sex instinct among us?”

Rest for Our Souls

Real or Imagined, it Seems Real

Our lives are filled with occasions to worry and fear. It seems like every advertisement, every news headline, and many conversations with coworkers and/or friends give us reason to feel a sense of unrest. Maybe the reason is real and legitimate. Maybe they are just our imagination fighting against us.

A Sovereign Invitation To Rest

But, Jesus’ invitation to relationship is also an invitation out from the unrest of fear and anxiety. Jesus is not inviting us to ignore what is real and legitimate for some sort of false rest. Jesus is inviting us to look at things as they really are…and to see who he really is. His promise to us is that his rest is deeper (and more real) than the fear, hopelessness, and anxiety that overwhelm us.

A Promise to Remember

Even if you are like me and don’t live in his rest in every detail of your life, remember that Jesus’ offer of rest is there for you. Right now. For even the deepest unrest.

Matthew 11:28–30

[28] Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. [29] Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. [30] For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Resolved

New Year’s Resolutions
I (Wes) am not a guy who is known for New Year’s resolutions. Maybe I am lazy or maybe I just know that my resolve may run out after a couple of weeks, but I don’t give much thought to resolutions at all.

You are probably like me and don’t need another self imposed task to put on your mental to do list. Many times, all those things tend to do are remind us that we aren’t as put together as we think we should be.

Everyday Resolves

But, that doesn’t mean that we don’t have resolve. We resolve to wake up most days and do the little things we have to do to manage our lives. We resolve to put on deodorant (right?) and do the work we need to do that day. We resolve to pay our bills. We resolve to make sure we don’t drive the people around us crazy…or let them drive us crazy. Maybe we even resolve to read the Bible some and pray a little.

As important as each of those things is, they seem mundane, nothing profound. Nothing world changing, right?

God-Given Resolve

in 2 Thessalonians 1:11-12, Paul prays for his friends that God would “make [them] worthy of His calling and would fulfill every resolve for good…by his power.” That is my heart for you too…that the Lord would fulfill every God-given desire- for good- that you hold on to. No, he won’t fulfill everything we desire, but he loves to fulfill everything he places in our hearts for good!

So consider these things with me:

• What are you resolved to do?

• What are those things that are good that you have some inner determination to accomplish?

• What are those things (mundane or not) that you are resolved to do that will only be fulfilled through a simple trust in Jesus and his power? (as opposed to a determined trust in ourself and our power)

2 Thessalonians 1:11–12

[11] To this end we always pray for you, that our God may make you worthy of his calling and may fulfill every resolve for good and every work of faith by his power, [12] so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ. (ESV)

Uvalde, Texas: Not My Justice, but Yours Be Done

How Much Do We Tell Our Kids?

I debated whether we should have the conversation or not, but I just had a conversation with our 4th grader about the people killed in Uvalde, Texas. Should I start the conversation? Would it scare her needlessly? Can she process it in a healthy way?

The (Grievous) Reality of the World

What pushed me over the edge was the thought that this is the reality of the world. As much as we want to talk about how things “should” be and how legislation should change our behavior, people like the shooter still express evil in ways that end some lives way too soon and change the trajectory of the lives of the people who loved them.

Misplaced Compassion

We live in an over-polite area in which most people want to think that all people are good, deep down. We try to attribute failures and mistakes as being other people’s (or society’s) fault. It is seen as compassionate to say” Well, he must have had a bad home life.” But, that “compassion” is misplaced and misjudging both the situation and the human heart. Maybe he had mental health issues (how could he not have mental health issues to be able to act out this violence?), but he is more than his mental health issues. Misplaced compassion says “It was bad, but it was all about his upbringing?!” Compassion says: his upbringing plays into it, but this was also the overflow of his heart.

Jesus said that “out of the heart comes…murders…” (Matthew 15:19)

I know that what I am saying seems judgmental at first. “Who are you, Wes, to be able to say these things?” But, I say them because I know who I am apart from Jesus rescuing me. I know I am capable of destructive evil. Maybe it isn’t as overt as the murder of children and teachers, but it is just as real. I can have the type of compassion on the man who acted out his base desires because I know that I have those same base desires. Jesus’ compassion is not compassion that tries to see a person in the very best light, but real compassion cares for a person even when seeing that person for who they truly, deeply are.

My Anger: Empathetic and Destructive

In the conversation, I teared up. My daughter could have been in that classroom. She could have felt the fear of seeing someone who had no empathy for her life point a gun at her and pull the trigger. The last moments of her life could have been fear…wishing someone could come rescue her. Those thoughts happened in many children that day. Those children’s parents feel not only the emptiness of profound loss of their child, but also the shame and guilt of not being able to be there when their child needed help. Both are permanent.

As I considered those things, anger welled up in me. Anger that it happened. Angered at the helplessness of those whose lives ended on what should have been an ordinary school day. Angered at a boy whose willful, selfish impulses started a cascade of fear, then profound grief.

My child was not affected, but I wanted to hurt the shooter. If my 4th grader’s life was taken from her I would want to take something from him. Yes, I know it wouldn’t bring her back. My desire isn’t redemptive- making something good out of a bad situation. It would only add to the destruction, but at least a small sense of justice would be fulfilled. 

At the very least, I would want him brought to trial and punished. I would want him to get what he deserves. But, even that, was taken from the families. His life ended in that classroom after a heroic border patrol agent rushed in to keep the boy* from taking more lives. I am glad the agent saved more lives. I, selfishly, wanted to see the boy’s punishment.

We Want Hell to be Real. No, Really, We Do.

Reading people’s responses to the tragedy on Twitter the night the shooting happened, I noticed at least two common responses in people’s posts. The first, how many times people used strong, crass language towards people on the other side of the “debate.” (Why are we trying to gain political internet points when children are killed?) The second, that many people used the phrase “go to hell.” 

Oh, I am sure they have not give the existence of a personal, eternal place of judgment much thought, but I would imagine that they would be okay for Hell to exist long enough for certain people to fall into it and then close up and disappear for people like themselves…the “righteous” people.

I read somewhere that the idea of “hell” has fallen out of favor in places in which are relatively safe. As a friend from the Balkan region of Europe recently reminded me, if you don’t feel the consistent fear of a neighboring country’s army standing at your doorstep, ready to invade your homeland, then you live in a “safe” country. We live in a relatively safe part of the world, all things considered. Hell is not palatable because there is seemingly no need for it. 

But, the idea of “hell” is very real to those who have seen atrocities and experienced deep fear that comes from an oppressor staring at you with malice and cold indifference.

Though I am not writing this to debate the whether or not “hell” is real (though I believe it is), the point is that- after events like these- we want hell to be real.

Not My Justice, But God’s Judgment

As I talked to my 4th grader, I told her that it doesn’t seem fair that he “got away with it.” From the survivors’ perspective, he took lives and doesn’t have to pay a debt to the society he pained.

But then I said something I rarely say…something that is the only solace that some people might have after events like this: that “boy” closed his eyes in death, then opened his eyes to see his Creator face to face. Unless he entrusted himself to Jesus at some point, that boy opened his eyes to the reality that our God is a righteous judge. A judge who is not judgy, but sees all sides, sees all actions, sees the boy’s heart and will make a wise judgment.

Getting What is Deserved

At this point, you might be like me, outrage fills my thoughts. He needs to get what he deserves…and what he deserves is more than death. His death is not enough to bring the scales of justice to balance. His death does not justify the deaths of so many. We feel that it is not fair that he “gets off easy.”

If this boy did not entrust himself to Jesus (and the overflow of his heart that shows in his actions leads me to think he was not a follower of Jesus), then Jesus’ death does not cover this person’s sins. He died “in his sin” with only the righteous judgment of God to look forward to. In other words, his eternity will be filled with only the just payment that his heart and actions deserve.

My daughter asked me a hard question. It was a question that stretched my belief in the meaning of Jesus’ death: “Would he go to heaven, daddy?” Everything in me wanted to say “Nooooo! No way! That could not happen! That would be unjust!”

I say “No one is beyond God’s mercy.” That feels nice when it comes to sin that doesn’t steal what is precious to me away from me. If that boy took my child’s life, and then “put his faith in Jesus” I would want justice. I would want ultimate, never ending judgment for him. I would want the full wrath that God could pour out on him to be poured out on him. “Don’t hold anything back!!” would be my cry.

But, that is not how God works. Anyone (frustratingly) anyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. Anyone whose authentic faith leads to repentance is welcomed into relationship with Jesus. Anyone.

But, I don’t like that right now. It is too easy. It makes God seem unjust. It makes me think that all of the ways we are “let off” are unjust…just not as unjust as letting off a premeditated murder of children might be.

A Rich Mercy

So that is what I wrestle with tonight. No one who has ever come to Jesus in faith deserved the goodness they have received from him. The mercy I have received (and continue to receive) seems unjust. 

But, what if it were true? 

If the shooter woke up in eternity to see that God is not “for” him, that would make sense to all of us. What is hard to believe is that someone like him (and someone like me) might wake up in eternity after death and find that I was fully accepted, even welcomed. That the just and unquenchable wrath that I should have fully absorbed was taken by Jesus on the cross.

I believe that is true. It is harder to believe in some cases than others. In the case of the Uvalde school shooter, I don’t want that kind of mercy to even be available to him.

But, if God’s mercy is only rich enough to save the “minor” sinners, then what kind of mercy is it? If Jesus’ death only paid the penalty for the “middle class” and “blasé“ mistakes we make, then it is not the kind of mercy we could ever rely on.

I am grateful that God’s mercy is different- richer- than my own.

There are still many more questions that I have. There are many that will be left unanswered. But, what I rely on now as I deal with waves of fear of losing my own daughter in a similar way -and waves of realization that I still need to be rescued from myself- is that I need to be able to look upwards and forwards and say that, though things are profoundly wrong now, there will be a day when Jesus makes all things right again according to his love and best wisdom

Make it soon, Lord Jesus.

*The shooter was 18 and legally an adult. It might be appropriate to call him a “man.” But I chose “boy” because a man does not use his strength and power to hurt people who are defenseless. The 18 year old recklessly ran into a school of vulnerable people and used his power to destroy them. A border patrol agent ran into the school- at great risk of his own life- and stopped the shooter to protect other’s lives. A man uses his strength and freedom to build up, protect, and nourish those around him. The shooter’s actions are the definition of “toxic masculinity.” God’s version of manhood looks very much like Jesus’, willingly (and even joyfully!) sacrificing himself to for the good of others. The shooter will forever be a “boy” in the eyes of most people.

A Different Kind of Fierce

I just spent four minutes of my life on Youtube watching a "Rocky Tribute" video. The soundtrack behind the video is a song by Survivor called "Eye of The Tiger." It is the type of song that would be played in a team's locker room to motivate them before a big game. After listening to the song, I am ready to do battle! (What that battle is, I am not sure yet)

Maybe your "toxic masculinity" alarm just went off. Maybe you are a little concerned for me. I will have to admit, it startles me a little to want to so easily fight in some way. I should pay attention to that.

But, maybe the desire to fight that we have is not merely something to be concerned about. Maybe the concern is how we might use it. Is our desire to be fierce used to inflict pain on others and get our way, or is the desire used to be fierce on behalf of others...for their good?

The bible never describes Jesus as "fierce," but it describes him as confidently confronting those who were. (see Matthew 8:28 and following) There is a fierceness about Jesus that is unlike ours.

Ours often manifests as "flipping our lid" when we don't get our way in a manner that wounds others. Ours often manifests as harsh words spoken about another in a way they could never respond.  (Think about every "Twitter fight")

Jesus' fierceness is not destructive, but redemptive. He has the weightiness of presence (not to mention his power to do what he wants) that could overwhelm and destroy. But his fierceness creates...even if he has to turn over some tables to create something good in our lives.

Best of all, Jesus doesn't need to get "pumped up" before he shows his loving strength. His kind of love overflows in to creative fierceness that every person needs...even if we don't want it.

Would you consider one question with me: how do you respond to the idea that Jesus is "fierce"? is it true? Is that good? Is that safe?

May our Lord and Savior show you the fullness of his character to you and hold you near to him in the fierceness of his heart.

Always Wanted

I was hesitant as we started our first adoption process (the process that eventually led to our 10 year old being in our family) There are the normal questions like "how are we going to pay for this?" and "is this what is best for our family?" All I had, then, were questions and fears. The beautiful future we have had with our oldest was just that- in the future. Unknown. Scary.

When did my reluctance really come from, though?

There was something I deeply believed that I wouldn't admit to myself (or anyone else) because I was afraid to admit it. Are you ready to hear this? I'm not sure I am ready to type it even now, but here it goes: I deeply believed that adoption was a consolation prize...that God was holding back "better" and giving us "good." That was really why I was hesitant.

It seems strange and foolish to me now to consider that I thought that, but I did. And, frankly, I think most people do. The following phrases are hints as to why I think most people think of adoption as something less than the "normal" way to start a family.

• "Is she your real daughter?" (The answer is: YES!!!! See the exclamation points?)

• "Was she given up by her real parents?" (So much to say here, but our daughters were always wanted, never given up)

• "Do you miss having children of your own?" (I know what someone means when they say this but these girls are as much our children as any child could possibly be! They are children of our own.)

"So how did start to see things differently?" you might ask. The honest answer: the passage we will talk about Sunday evening. Those of us who have trusted Jesus have been "adopted as sons" into the family of the Father. When the Spirit chose to use a metaphor on how we come into a new family, he inspired Paul to use adoption to describe what the Father did to (wholeheartedly) bring us home.

That changed me. I was adopted. Everyone who is in the family of the Father was adopted. (Notice my language here...the verb tense is important) We could not possibly be more children of God our Father. There is nothing more. Fully family. Finally, his own.

When I look at my precious girls there is no doubt in my mind I wouldn't love them more if they came in our family by another way. Not possible. And my love for them is a poor reflection of the love from a perfect Father.